7 Keys to Stop Self-Sabotaging!!!!

By September 16, 2014Blog, Daily Declarations

If you’ve never had a moment in your life where you self sabotaged, you may want to stop reading this. This information is only for those of us who have made choices, intentionally or unconsciously that hindered our forward movement.

Some examples of how I have minimized my progress are:

 1.  I didn’t make a phone call that could’ve advanced my career because I talked myself out of doing it. (And ended up doing some “busy” work instead)

 2.  I had an idea that I knew was really, really good, but before I discussed it with anyone else, I convinced myself of the reasons it would never work. (Come on, I am NOT the only one that’s done this)

 3.  I settled for less than what I really wanted. (This speaks to so many areas of self sabotaging…)

I have done all of the above and more. The best way I can describe my form of self sabotage is through an analogy. I was like an Olympic sprinter who would come in first place for all of my races. Then in the Olympics, right before I would cross the finish line to win the gold medal, I would stop and let everyone cross in front of me. Then I would get mad when they didn’t come back and help me cross the finish line. The truth is… that was not their responsibility. I had everything I needed and had worked hard enough to cross the finish line on my own. But I would self sabotage.

I would convince myself that helping other people cross before me was the right thing to do. After all, I am a life strategist. I am gifted to help other people succeed. And yes, this is right, but not the truth. The truth is I am supposed to cross the finish line first and then lead others by example. I can help more people when I help myself first. So can you!!!!

Sometimes our victory isn’t from crossing the finish line first. Sometimes what makes us winners is CROSSING the finish line, period. When all we really wanted to do was quit.

Self sabotaging is different from quitting. Quitting means you choose to come completely out of the game. When you self sabotage, you are still in the game, you are just hindering your own success.

To overcome self sabotaging, I had to TRULY believe in myself. This is more than just confidence in my abilities or being driven to succeed. This is a deep rooted belief that allowed me to stand for myself, while carrying the weight of others.

I had to overcome what Marianne Williamson identifies as our deepest fear. She shares that our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

I realized that I made many choices in my life that minimized my achievements because to win means I have to live in the fullness of ME and ALL that GOD ordained me to BE. And that was just a little too frightening.

I have grown to understand that I don’t have to have all the answers, do everything perfectly, win every battle or even overcome every fear. Many times to win, all I need is a little more courage than fear. I just need a little more hope to keep pressing when I want to quit. And there are those moments, when I just need to go to bed and get some rest.

Here are seven keys I’ve discovered that allow me to cross my finish line every time.

7 Keys to stop self sabotaging

1. Declare what you want

2. Make achieving it nonnegotiable

3. Accept that everything you need is inside of you

4. Discern who you allow to join your journey

5. Stop complaining

6. Appreciate the lessons

7. Express gratitude for the victories


There are so many moments in my life where I could have accomplished more and achieved it faster, but I made choices that self sabotaged my achievements. Leave me a comment below and let me know how this article has helped you identify how you self sabotage.


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  • Thank you for this Sheri! My passion is helping athletes, celebrities, and high achievers become emotionally fit for the game of life™, and a lot of people and naysayers say I’m crazy, I give too much of myself in serving, and that it will never. I find myself dumbing myself down at times, even though according to suicide rates, domestic violence rates, the situations in ferguson, and the ton of unhealthy relationships, I know that it is a much needed service in our community and in the world. Thank you for the boost and wake up call. Thank you for continuing to be a ray of hope and encouragement to continue to let your light shine brightly. Thank you…

  • Patrice Riley says:

    Thanks for this blog. I was tearing up as I read it. In my life. I have made myself EVERYONES go to person. Except ME. There are goals I want and need to accomplish but I cant seem to do it because everyone else’s needs come before mine. Thanks for saying what I already knew
    Be blessed

    • Sheri Riley says:

      Hey Auntie,
      I had a REAL conversation with myself a few weeks ago and accepted that FEAR was the REAL reason I was not accomplishing some things in my life that are very important to ME. I had blamed people, circumstances, timing, busyness, being too helpful, etc, etc. etc…But the only reason that really mattered was my fear. And I now I am “diving into my deepest fears to achieve my greatest accomplishments”. I pray you take this leap of amazing faith along side of me. Come on. LET’s GO!!! Also, instead of spending time “adding to my 2015 To Do List” I have spent time removing things from To Do List. By spending time removing things from my To Do list, I am empowering myself to focus on what I REALLY NEED TO DO.

  • Dale Dean Spears says:

    Opportunity knocks much less when you are not willing to open the door. Maybe even times, you don’t hear the knock because you’ve turned a deaf ear to who or what is knocking. Self sabotage is a hard term for me to get behind. I think FEAR of achievement (or what you’ve worked hard to accomplish) gets in the way more so than people will sabotage themselves. I know I have been “scared” at times when things were going “too right”. You tend to overthink it. You say to yourself, “Is this REALLY happening to ME?” The answer is YES. That’s when the cold feet rear themselves…… You know cousin that we have had a plethora of opportunities in our lives with a very high percentage of them just coming through our hard work and perseverance. I teach my boys not to fear success. As long as you are doing it the right way, the honest way, the GODLY way, its yours to have………..

  • janora mcduffie says:

    Needed this to let go of some bad habits that were trying to creep into my 2015. Thanks for your continued inspirational messages that are always right on time!

    • Sheri Riley says:

      Hello Janora,
      It’s my purpose and my pleasure. Congratulations on “catching” those old habits before they can come back!!! That’s VICTORY!!!! All the BEST in 2015 and beyond

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